happyBirthday.jpg
  
2009年的生日我21歲了. 每一年的生日都過的越來越冷清, 以前總是好早之前就開始計畫生日該舉辦甚麼活動些, 但近來似乎發覺越來越不重要, 難道人長了心也跟著淡了麼?
不過今年的17號剛好落在放假後的禮拜三, 除了媽跟哥之外還有親愛的表哥也在, 所以一家人在一起其實也挺溫馨. 媽回家時帶了個蛋糕給我, 待哥回家後便一同進餐 (雖然晚餐還是我跟表哥準備的). 期待許久的蛋糕終於端了出來, 唱完生日快樂歌後竟發現沒有蠟燭可吹, 勉強媽硬找出了兩支打火機, 又快速唱了遍生日快樂後 許了願吹了打火機也就算成了. 切蛋糕前還照了幾張相, 哥依然很大牌的坐在原位等著我們上前與他合影, 照片出來後真看不出到底是誰過生日了呢.
吃完飯後當天就以平常速度進行, 我也一整天都穿著睡衣在家活動著, 看看電視玩玩電腦. 直到晚上九點時我接了通電話叫我走出門外, 意外的門外我兩個朋友帶了氣球蛋糕還有整整21根點燃的蠟燭唱著歌給我. 我很感動但我不會表達, 我只能問他們要不要進家裡來坐坐.  隨後我也換了衣服同他們出去喝了點東西... 

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

hardlyAsleep.jpg
 
每逢回家時總是挑替媽媽一身的行頭, 發現她穿衣風格竟跟我外婆越來越像, 注重的是衣服舒適而不在考量是否真的好看, 老是看上一些像大褂般的衣服. 質料雖輕柔但也立刻讓人聯想到鄉下的村婦, 總勸她不聽, 我也只能恥笑她幾句過癮. 而這次返家我發現她拎了個我國中時在台灣買的包包, 黑底搭配著紅白色各大小的星星早被我嫌棄在衣櫥的某角落. 讓我納悶的是, 我爸爸送她包包這麼多, 為甚麼選了這一個?
她理由挺多; 說早上背這個出去散步方便, 大小合適, 反正我是不會理解我也懶得去聽, 我想她也不怎麼在意這件事情, 直到我們下了車準備去逛街時, 她突然愣了幾秒. 
“怎樣?"

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(1) 人氣()

outYourPocket.jpg
    

blank spaces are w i d e 
pull your eyes together and things become fuzzy 
see the dust on your eyelashes, falling 
falling
falling
fallen.
spread flat on the ground, a light cough a chuckle embarks its flight, a sigh..
breathe in ----- and out.
where are you off to? 
settle in on the skin of a high-heel, be brushed be chiseled away in the wind.
or live in the unflattering wrinkles of my bedspread, be inhaled be hidden in my sleep
where are you most happy? where are you most found?
i found you in me the moment i lifted my face to look at the clouds
and there you were, traveling through my lament, blending and disappearing with every flap of your wings into the most beautiful substance in this world - air, and
i saw you for a while, before you became pollution and,
i am not clean anymore, i am not you anymore. 


POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

  • Jun 16 Tue 2009 00:07
  • broken

broken.jpg
 
yes, it is sad, but what is life without sadness?


why are things the way they are? 
the moon is smudged in the sky with a thumb and twisted half way like how you get a fingerprint (if you hold your hand out, just the right size!)
white paint
stars are sprinkled like pepper, a flicker 
into the black, black is not black
a very deep shade of white
do people escape destiny? what seems to be the way out is only the way in
skin is as dirty as money, we clean ourselves but we only clean the surface, in many ways money is cleaner than human, they're only dirty on the outside
love is like skin, it hides our blood and bones, it used to be smooth but soon it becomes rough 
with time everything becomes rough, stupid, and ugly
why must we grow old? why must love grow old? 
why must we think! why can i not stop thinking, why do you make me think! what is there to life, a never ending circle no in no out no nothing just a constant repetition of More and Less sadness and the lesser it gets you think you have happiness but its just an illusion life is an illusion dreams are illusions you are an illusion no more real than me, i do not exist but a mere shadow, what if all i am is just a shadow, a shadow in the night and no one would see because i would blend in but i would also not exist because no light no shadow and the moon is not a moon
it is a circle 
just kidding
its my fingerprint didn't i tell you so

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

  • Apr 24 Fri 2009 14:28
  • 哥哥

brother.jpg
 
我不想在幫你考試了 真的 真的 我說 
快點嘛 幫我考嘛 幫我考嘛 我看著她的臉 厭惡
狠狠的推了一把 
她身後那高大的男人 滿臉鬍渣 腦袋後的馬尾溫馴的貼在他後頸 黑色T恤
我跑了起來 我知道後面有人追著 跑在我熟悉的路上 要回家
鑰匙在重要的時刻總插不准 換了一隻轉開 推門進入
右轉再右轉是哥哥的房間 哥哥睡覺時總叫不醒
我搖了搖他 哥哥救我
救我
哥哥翻了身下了床 在那麼一瞬間 問了我怎麼了 
有人要殺我
哥哥的臉很平靜 轉身從桌上拿了一張
白紙
滿臉鬍渣的男人尾隨進來了 哥哥那麼的瘦弱 是他的一半
哥哥走到那男人的面前 把那白紙在他面前揮了一次 僅僅的一次
男人倒下 

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(1) 人氣()

midAprilNight.jpg
 
your profile is available in silhouettes and your hair 
dark bleeds into the cracks on the mountain
your voice only reaches the rim of my ear but your
laughter sleeps in the prancing of my heart. a careful brush of
cloth, your right arm aligns that of my left and i am 
afraid to move, your warmth aways my inherent fear, i 
wish to look at you but your eyes are well alive, lids of 
soft pillowcase, gently slid over your dim-litted half moons, i have realizations
of your temperature
kept as a secret

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

  • Mar 26 Thu 2009 14:27
food.jpg
 
是一具屍體 我知道因為是我殺的.
我們把他放在一個單架上 用布覆蓋起來 慢慢的抬過去 是菜
很緊張 我能感覺到單架在輕微的顫抖著 他的肉露出來了 那麼一點點 在一角
不能改變步伐 還是這樣一步步的走了過去 放下
他們向我們道謝 我們微笑
.
.
.
走了一小段 後面傳來聲音 他們發現了 
跑吧
跑吧

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

  • Mar 20 Fri 2009 14:15
  • hushed

hushed.jpg
 
we wore sheets of mist, thick as toast
where you kissed me, in the pale sky of 
the night, our feet disappeared in the mouths of sand,
ubiquitous on the stretch of nature's saliva, she 
wipes her lips clean and we are revealed,
two embracing tiny ants, frozen dead before dawn, and
washed away before the morning break

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

a bearded butterfly flows through the night, in the
singing fog she sighs with a mouth wide open, the air
hardly forced out with her throat, elongated and shaking 
is she crying? with every drop her beard grows, the age, 
poured through centuries like an hour glass
it's almost running low now, the sand shivers as she gags
tossing in the deep of her voice, half grainy, half sad
i stood on the rim of her mouth where i jumped and
slid off her beard while listening to the sound of water
and its
falls

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

eyes bright as day, you awake my skin to a low concentration of
silver, the way your cheeks crease as you smile and
your fingers pull forth on strings unattached. your voice 
breathes in and out my pores i hear every night before i 
sleep. i know your filtered world only makes out misty shields of my face and
the slight tilt you mention makes you look pondering, hesitating to ask questions, your
shoulders and mine are congruent that's why we'll never be
lovers, your hands would fit inside of mine,
i know you would look dearly under the sheets and head on my pillow but i'm afraid
such sentiments, i want to keep you on my palm and take you 
home, your dainty shoes solid against my meat. could you
hold my hand without painting me on your wall, and
could you kiss me with no dimming of your eyes.

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

the rain is hot sometimes the cold 
drips on the rusting metal frame the
dust takes a shower cold, turns wet and dims each
strand and curls visible lying against their wall like mud
seamless no more floating no more cotton flying just
the water passing through the sill gentle clapping
gently tapping rapidly counting, the edge of the 
carpet is moisturized a darker shade of tan my 
face is cold against the window the rain on the other side
the cold drips along my face and rain is hot sometimes, 
sweating my face i dont know what temperature is
anymore, super cold is hot sometimes and this chilliness bites my neck and the back 
of my spine. one drip lands and blows through the air, joins the swamp and
becomes a stream a river a puddle the sea, the rain is hot sometimes under the sun
i am warm

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

prettyFlowers.jpg
 
 
your petal thin waist bends in my arms, a
malleable metal it draws me
in, as tall as your neck, my eyes look for a 
secure spot in your collar. stripes
tease me up and down and your hair
long kills your tender. your palms
softer than clouds, be my pillow and sleep on me; you
stroll through my face and swim on my tongue; you
taste just like me plus a tint of honey because I 
love you. a drop of water in my 
bloodstream. your entity suicides in my 
river. I need only you as my sky and it wouldn’t rain; I want
an empty house without walls, my hair licks of tiny straws, sip
through my veins, hands over my eyes - I don’t like this world at all.
mornings when you yawn and night vanishes within the shut
of your lips, I melt like wax and form a broken heart. Trust
is a danger falling off the cliff - I’ve been walking on my tip toes
listening for your footsteps but you never walk. You stamp
all over my bones and they’re ready to break. Collect my 
cold cryings in your closet - your collection blinds my words 

POLLUTING 發表在 痞客邦 留言(0) 人氣()

Blog Stats
⚠️

成人內容提醒

本部落格內容僅限年滿十八歲者瀏覽。
若您未滿十八歲,請立即離開。

已滿十八歲者,亦請勿將內容提供給未成年人士。